‘then one day i started thinking.’
23 December, 2007 | 5 comments | Category: book snip, peace & conflict, thinking...
…merely wanted to transcribe this train of thought…the crossroads call for it….
“To makes things simpler, Rieux, let me begin by saying I had the plague already, long before I came to this town and encountered it here. Which is tantamount to saying I’m like everybody else. Only there are some people who don’t know it, or feel at ease in that condition; others know and want to get out of it. Personally, I’ve always wanted to get out of it.
When I was young I lived with the idea of my innocence; that is to say, with no idea at all. I’m not the self-tormenting kind of person, and I made a suitable start in life. I brought off everything I set my hand to, I moved at ease in the field of intellect, I got on excellently with women, and if I had occasional qualms, they passed as lightly as they came. Then one day I started thinking. And now —-”
“…When I was seventeen my father asked me to come to hear him speak in court…The only picture I carried away with me of that day’s proceedings was a picture of the criminal. I have little doubt he was guilty…That little man of about thirty, with sparse, sandy hair, seemed so eager to confess everything, so genuinely horrified at what he had done and what was going to be done with him. He looked like a yellow owl scared blind by too much light. You understand –he was a living human being…something seemed to grip my vitals at that moment…I only knew that they were set on killing that living man.
…I’ve had to dwell on my start in life, since for me it really was the start of everything…I tried all sorts of jobs, and did not do too badly. But my real interest in life was the death penalty; I wanted to square accounts with that poor owl on the dock. So I became an agitator, as they say. I didn’t want to be pestiferous, that’s all. To my mind the social order around me was based on the death sentence, and by fighting the established order I’d be fighting against murder.
…In any case, my concern was not with arguments. It was with the poor owl; with that foul procedure whereby dirty mouths stinking of plague told a fettered man that he was going to die, and scientifically arranged things so that he should die, after nights and nights of mental torture where we waited to be murdered in cold blood…nothing in the world would induce me to accept any argument that justified such butcheries.
…All I maintain is that on this earth there are pestilences and there are victims, and it’s up to us, so far as possible, not to join forces with the pestilences. You see, I have heard quantities of arguments, which very nearly turned my head, and turned other people’s heads enough to make them approve of murder and I’d come to realize that all our troubles spring from our failure to use plain clear-cut language. So I resolved always to speak-and to act- quite clearly. That’s why I say there are pestilences and there are victims; no more than that. I grant we should add a third category: that of the true healers. But it’s a fact one doesn’t come across many of them, and anyhow it must be a hard vocation. That is why I decided to take, in every predicament, the victims’ side, so as to reduce the damage done. Among them I can at least try to discover how one attains to the third category…to peace.”
Tarrou in The Plague
I’ve been reading this book for some time now, struggling with getting the pages turned…until today when I hit the inflection point. To my mind Tarrou talks about personal choices each of us have to make; to work ‘with’ the world order, to work ‘against’ the world order [to fight it], or as he hesitantly acknowledges …to be ‘healers’ of the order.
In the midst of his abstract thoughts, he poses an intriguing question, after he proclaims “It comes to this, what interests me is learning how to become a saint.” Reiux retorts “But you don’t believe in God.” “Exactly! Can one be a saint without God? -that is the problem, in fact the only problem, I’m up against today.”
The book closes with this statement: “…quite simply what we learn in pestilence: that there are more things to admire in men than to despise.“
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5 comments to “‘then one day i started thinking.’”
yonas, December 23rd, 2007 at 6:24 pm:
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i love reading your posts … always thought-provoking and beautifully written
yonas, December 23rd, 2007 at 6:28 pm:
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it was mind-boggling at first to see my bernos icon show up there for a moment … but then i slowly remembered and figured it out … ya know, you should visit bernos.org … there were some thinkers/philosophers there on the same wavelength as you
Nani, January 1st, 2008 at 11:33 pm:
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…All I maintain is that on this earth there are pestilences and there are victims, and it’s up to us, so far as possible, not to join forces with the pestilences.
True we choose what we become, but not always, … but things are very rarely in black and white, … what of the greys …
tpeace, January 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm:
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thank you yonas! much appreciate your comments
Nani, I hear you. I would even go as far as to say if my thoughts were a wardrobe I’d have a lot of grey outfits, with the grey patterns and patches…the works! And honestly, I’m mindboggled to think that ultimately it might all actually be an all or nothing/black or white deal…no so-so, buzzy, blurry things going on…
soj, August 4th, 2008 at 6:27 pm:
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But one would have believed the existence of thoughts and the will behind them..