senduQ

mind entropy of the ethiofrican

Interracial Dating…

5 March, 2009 | 38 comments | Category: Relationships, Senduq- Semhal, thinking...

t.peace mentioned that I will be one of the ‘new senduQ writers’ and that I will dabble in topics like dating, friendships, family, gender and other pieces of the frenzy that make up relationships…I will also write about other topics that strike my fancy like health to mix it up…I hope you will enjoy and share your thoughts! ~~ Semhal

AX077802

photocredit: Fazy@flickr

“The Ethiopian Girl”

I… hate being cornered as the Ethiopian girl. I identify myself as a human being, a citizen of the world. I hate the culture of identifying ourselves in a nutshell based on geography or color. I believe that God created all of us in different colors, heights, hair textures all in his image to glorify him. As human beings, we are expected to see past this and love each other. If you want to be with someone, it is because you love him/her for the way he/she makes you feel: it should have nothing to do with color or race. I have had my share of interracial dating myself and my experiences have changed my life forever. If you give people a chance, they will surprise you!

But recently I met this handsome, intelligent Ethiopian guy: I was thrilled to have found someone who is well-read that can  share my culture and weird African superstitions. Everything was going great until he started pulling away because my taste in music does not include fall out boys (come on now: ) or I don’t shop at Karen Millen. But worst of all, he wouldn’t stop bragging about all the beautiful women he dated in the past and how great they all were (all of his Exs are Caucasians). I ended the relationship soon after because of his lack of respect for who I am, especially when it became apparent when he compared me to the white women he dated: it was hurtful for a lot of reasons.

What Guys Want…

I have recently noticed more and more Ethiopian men, like other black men, dating Caucasian females. Either that or I am noticing it more after my breakup. Either way, I was becoming wary and critical of interracial couples and I didn’t like it. So I decided to seek for an outside perspective from my Somali friend who is finishing up her Ph.D. thesis in Africana studies and who has dated outside her race. Her advice, “Men want what they can’t have. Black men could not have white women for the longest time: that’s why you see more black men with white women than the reverse.”

Is my friend right? Does this mean that people don’t always get in to interracial relationships for the right reasons? Do women have to be more unattainable now to get attention?

Possibly Related Posts:


38 comments to “Interracial Dating…”

Tsedey, March 6th, 2009 at 12:46 am:

  • he is such an ass and must have security issues,I diagnose him with cultural incompetency. He must have some identity issues. glad u ended the relationship. so unworthy.

anonx, March 6th, 2009 at 12:51 am:

  • Semhar– how about that we chase beauty as defined by society overall. I suppose cacausian beauty is the ideal impressionable folks go for. I had a ugandan friend, and on that topic she felt a disrepect of her mother beauty if she dated outside her race while the men didn’t feel the same way. And caucasian work mate who moved to cali complained how difficult it is for a decent looking joe to get a decent looking white girl. Apparently he had a picking amounst asians but the white girls are for the celebrities of all shades :)

Sofi, March 6th, 2009 at 2:33 pm:

  • Semhal, I think I sort of agree with your Somali friend (atleast on my interpretation of what she said. Generalizations can be misleading but I think it’s safe to say that men and women alike want things they percieve as ‘hard to get’ because of the simple fact that we are all addicted to gratification: if one attains the unattainable, that in itself is extremely rewarding. Without getting into jargons, there is also a foundational truth in genetics that asserts the fact that an exotic individual is more successful than the a local. Thus an interracial relationship can be the results of a purely biological impulse/drive, perhaps the result of a pursuit for gratification and a sense of achievment or simply the result of pure unadultrated love. Having said that, regardless of race, I have friends from both sexes, different races who believe in
    the ancient wisdom of our Habesha mothers: wend lij yikoral (men as is their custom, have adopted it to something along the lines of ”lesetLij lebehen atesT”), even in a relationship, even after passing the initial stage of ”jinjena” both men and women still desire to be pursued…perhaps by telling you his past ”accomplishments” your ex was sort of trying to put himself up in the scale just for the sake of feeling sought-after! Many people try that and some hold ”men like stand-offish girls” to be true and paradoxically try to cool it off in hope of heating it up! I believe there are no set rules, at times one needs to be cautions of how much to reveal and when (if at all)…other times throwing caution to the wind and articulating the exact thing the heart is feeling can be the right thing to do. Personally, I find that to be spicy when mixed with a bit of ”kora malet” LOL.

Fabay, March 6th, 2009 at 6:11 pm:

  • Different people have various tastes in music and other things in their life, apparently for this particular guy listening “fall out boys” and shopping @ “Karen Millen” holds a higher value than things you were able to offer him… u are on different level on our value system, therefore, I think you did the right thing ending your relationship!!!
    I have dated guys who are different from me in so many ways and I was comfortable with z fact. But eventually they try to change me; I don’t understand why they feel the need to change me 6 months after we have started dating, maybe someone can enlighten me :) However, some people feel the need to find a mate that is exactly like them (music taste, clothing, bla bla). In my opinion, the core things (religion, world view, etc) in life are things that dating partners need to be on the same wavelength and compromise on simple things. I think it fun to date ppl. who are different from you cause it is an opportunity for u to learn and experience new things!!!

Nani, March 6th, 2009 at 9:26 pm:

  • Hey Semhal – first of all don’t beat yourself for what happened, perhaps it’s a relationship that you should take a good lesson on and move on, even though it’s hard and easier said than done. You were willing to see the common things between you two, but unfortunately he didn’t, or atleast that’s the impression i got. This bragging thing is I think a disease among all habesha guys, I have yet to meet a guy how is humble, and reserved and knows exactly what he wants. I think this dude didn’t really know what he wanted, did he just want someone to listen to all his conquest, I mean how far can bragging take you anyway, he must know that you wouldn’t appreciate the comparison … and my answer to your questions is … no I don’t think so, if you’re meaning love and … as the right reasons to getting into a relationship, often other things play the greater role, like pride, status, and all the other crap, but I would completely agree with Fabay, date DIFFERENT people who you would’ve never even thought before you will be surprised :)

Semhal, March 7th, 2009 at 1:54 am:

  • Thanks for all the support and love guys. Sofi the guy only talked about his Caucasian female accomplishments (I can’t believe I said that…LoL)…there is clearly something wrong with that.
    Fabay I had no problem with him listening to Fall out boys…it only becomes a problem when you try to impose it on others but there is no way on earth am spending 200$ on a shirt (Gif new..LoL)…(but I still didn’t judge him). I mean I’m a broke grad student, where on earth am I gonna get that kind of money anyway?
    Nani it’s like you are in my mind ?)))

Fabay, March 7th, 2009 at 4:15 pm:

  • Semhal,
    I know you do not have problem listening to “Fall out boys(FOB)” but Z guy had a problem with the fact “FOB” were not on your top of your music taste. He just need to get out of his MUSIC BOX and explore new things lol..

Nani, March 7th, 2009 at 5:07 pm:

  • I’ve got a question for you all though, so I was talking to my bro about habesha guys, ’cause well he is a guy and he is habesha, I just could not understand why habesha guys like to brag, so guess what he said, – according to him guys brag and talk because it has worked before, they tried it before and it worked, and they think it works every time … wut d’u say to that? well shouldn’t the fact that they’re still single/ unattached/ … however you wanna call it prove that it obviously hasn’t worked??? I’m really not understanding them, or I’m missing something :-/

Eve, March 7th, 2009 at 8:41 pm:

  • Semhal…benatish semhal…i asked one of my A.A. friends why black guys date white girls…he told me the answer is simple because white girls are crazy and will do anything to please their “African king”….heheh…i think he is saying crazy in terms of everything including sex…he also told me they open up opportunities to black ppl (thru family ties) … he told me it is really hard as a black man to find a good apartement in a good nbr hood, sometimes a job…so if you go thru your white girlfriend and her family things get way easier…..i dunno about habesha guys ….they have issues for real…love u guys

Semhal, March 9th, 2009 at 3:10 am:

  • Nani… tell me about it. I find men generally difficult to understand. My female intuitions does not help in this aspect at all (lol). Bragging never works! Never ever ever works! please all the men readers out there, just be humble. Humility is honesty! I don’t believe in mequrating (pride) and such…i don’t like pretentious or dishonest people.
    Eve…that’s just the funniest thing ever…who is this dude? I should put him on my hit list?!?! (hmmmm….lol)

tpeace, March 9th, 2009 at 10:31 am:

  • :) veryyyy nice to see all the chatter here!
    so I prolly have a jaded outlook on this from hanging around guys a lot and hearing how they talk talk talk about women…

    bottom line:     a lot of it for a lot of men i think has to do with propping the ego and satisfying the sex drive. That’s probably what men themselves contend to be their simplicity. i think it’s totally true -simple minds. Sure there are guys who are seeking a deeper emotional connection outside of being able to ‘conquer’ and those who are in it for deeper things than their own ego/sex (this world allows for exceptions…esp within generalizations)…but most guys have to reach a certain level of maturity. and pass a good many years to be interested in wanting to fall for a girl for who she is – for some this time never comes (most def all the research points to women maturing faster and I have to concede here that generally women have separate set of issues in this love game that men complain a lot about)…
    With that said, the lady who caters best of his ego (for being hard to get, for being a trophy gal to show off, nurturing his ego or mommy-me alter ego etc..) becomes the most desirable — for the biliCHliCH superficial or ‘him-hiim’ stuff… while a lot of women are looking to be appreciated as who they are & not only for sex as the next notch on his bedpost….and I’m not saying that’s the only prototype but this sure describes dude u described semhalina. who was walking around acting like he can demand you to be a certain way!! — who does he think he is??!!! If anyone hasn’t seen the ‘he’s not that into you’ movie …I def recommend that!

    On the interracial topic - I think again, depending on how a white girl caters to someone’s ego and satisfies his sex drive, abesha and other black men alike wud try, though some of them also complain that white girls are too easy (prolly cos men like the chase)… I guess different ppl do relationships for different reasons. anyhow – i find interracial relationships totally fascinating if these surface-level issues don’t get in the way… you can get to know someone without any of the presumptions, prejudices, assumptions etc. etc… that you have to deal with with ppl within the culture you’re from, so, in addition to getting to experience a relationship and relate on a purely human level, it would be a fresh breath of air which lets you learn more about yourself…

Nani, March 9th, 2009 at 4:01 pm:

  • I am reading this book for one of my classes, it’s a leadership book, very fascinating and one thing just seemed sooo appropriate for this topic we have here… the author wonders deep into the issue of humility vs. bragging and being prideful – he argues that when one is prideful, and brags it’s because he/she feels insecure and feels the need to impress someone, because of the need to be admire but the bragger knows he/she is manipulating the other.
    And on being humble, he explains that it is often associated with weakness or lack of power. “However, REAL humility comes when we see the world as it really is. The real world is a world of connectedness, of moving flows of power. When we transcend our own egos, when our outer self and our inner self connect, we experience increased integrity, increased oneness, and greater connectedness — we feel greatness. … The greatness (from humility) does not emanate from within us, as we assume it does when we brag …
    so what I have to say is this – Guys, for the love of God don’t brag!

    You know one thing came to my mind tho … maybe the dude wanted to move the relationship further and was trying to say you should be more … um easy going … i don’t know still doesn’t make sense … :/

Semhal, March 9th, 2009 at 4:34 pm:

  • Nani…the book makes sense!
    but i feel like a relationship can go further if it’s only based on truth , so i guess i don’t know what you mean?
    tpeace..i agree with you completely. I think it has to do a lot with the age & maturity thing ( we are about the same age…i don’t know how i left that out). I feel like the older men get, they look for true relationships than flings and show offs…i also think it has a lot to do with the way other girls behave. Some girls are manipulative and they play hard to get to make men do what they want, and men being men think we are all the same? I have also met a girl who only wants to date “highly experienced” men:0))))…i mean how do you guys feel about that?

Fabay, March 10th, 2009 at 5:25 pm:

  • Well, like I said above different ppl. have different preference. For some crazy reason, I enjoy guys who are about my age. But What I am learning the hard way is maybe I should try someone who more experienced or have a some kind of clue about what they want :( So I think there is a legitimate reason why girls like guys who are more experienced (I don’t know about highly experienced)!!!

tpeace, March 10th, 2009 at 6:27 pm:

  • LOL i think the question is — what KIND of experience :P

Nani, March 10th, 2009 at 7:38 pm:

  • LOL you guys – do you mean mature when you say ‘experienced’?
    and Semhal, what I meant on my previous reply was – I was trying to understand why he did the comparison, brag, talk … it still doesn’t make sense to me. You’re right a relationship can only go further only if it’s based on truth, trust, and all. but what I’ve found is most usually associated with sex (not always) and white girls don’t stress the prelude to the bedroom as much as say habesha girls :P lol I’m trying to be diplomatic here – so that’s what I meant

Semhal, March 10th, 2009 at 9:46 pm:

  • No you guys…this girl meant sexual experience…lol..sorry I should have been more specific. So the question is, do we women have some responsibility for the way men turn out????
    Nani, well could be i wasn’t intimate with him so you think he was trying to let me kno?…lol

Nani, March 11th, 2009 at 1:00 am:

  • LOL you never know, I think among our discussion here should be the fact that our communication – habesha men vs. women sucks, although i doubt this played a role in your case here Semhal,

    something i came across actually sent to me by a friend … enjoy it ladies, and guys (if there is anyone listening, or reading, ummm why are you not commenting??)
    ok here’s the joke/ words of wisdom …

    …

    “Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
    So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

toothpick, March 11th, 2009 at 2:55 pm:

  • “Every time I embrace a black woman I’m embracing slavery, and when I put my arms around a white woman, well, I’m hugging freedom. The white man forbade me to have the white woman on pain of death…. I will not be free until the day I can have a white woman in my bed.”
    - Eldridge Cleaver, “Allegory of the Black Eunuchs” (1968) from his book “Soul on Ice”

    just something to ponder about …

    any thoughts?

me, March 11th, 2009 at 4:54 pm:

  • Interesting … I’ve seen this topic here and there … and it seems it never ends.

    Here are few of my thoughts as Ethiopian guy and as human being in general:

    The writer said, “But worst of all, he wouldn’t stop bragging about all the beautiful women he dated in the past and how great they all were (all of his Exs are Caucasians).”

    Although I see no problem about talking his ex-s, you are right he shouldn’t disrespect who you are. But … How did he disrespect you? Something that I am missing from your piece and something that might explain his frustration or misunderstanding with you. Respect: you earn it … you don’t get it just because ure ethiopian or arabian or french or american. What did you put into the r/nship first? What turned him off? Why is he nostalgic about the past? What is he missing from you? These are reasonable questions that need reasonable answers, I believe. Just because you come here and tell us “oh that a-hole, he disrespected me,” it would be hard for us to judge, at least for me.

    You wrote, “I have recently noticed more and more Ethiopian men, like other black men, dating Caucasian females.” What is wrong with that? Don’t be paranoid. If it works for them, they can even date an alien from mars.

    It seems to me that a lot of black girls especially Ethiopians suffer from confidence issue. The funny thing is just like your somalian friend said it, my white friend once told me that “Black girls, especially your country girls are hard to get.” At some point in the past i used to think that Indian girls are difficult to touch. And most of my Ethiopian male friends think that white girls are easy to get. So my friend depending on the situation and cultural or personal perspective, your (or your somalian friend’s) generalization may remain just a theory that can’t be proved.

    My personal advice: Be proud of yourself first. And if he talks about his past, let him, if he brags tell him right there that you don’t feel comfortable about his character. If you have no chemistry, you have no chemistry; whether he is ethiopian or not, imo, that is insignificant. Move on and find another person. I always talk about my ex-es and I make sure that doesn’t bother my current g-friend. You can’t force a person to completely erase his past memories. In fact, you can take advantage of the situation; by listening about his past, you learn what kind of person he is and what kind of women he dated and how you can make certain decisions based on that information.

    Most important: don’t take everything so personal … which most of you ladies are good at … lol jk.

    have a nice one …

Tsedey, March 11th, 2009 at 7:55 pm:

  • me, hmmmm, interesting perspective you brought. I agree on most of teh points. However, there’s a fine line between talking about ex’s and ["bragging"/ holding a standard/failing to enjoy each person for what they are]. The writer feels the guy is exhibiting the latter and that’s what made her uncomfortable. Atleast this is what i observed.

    toothpick, can’t speak for habesh men but from what i hear, our guys like white girls to date and have a good time but when it comes to marriage and settling down, mostly prefer their own kind.(disclaimer: this is not generalization but opinions of my habesha guy friends)

Semhal, March 11th, 2009 at 11:07 pm:

  • Wow…”me”…lol…you are one mad ethiopian brother. Respect you earn…i think you feel like you know me or i remind you of someone i don’t know .
    No one is saying dating outside your race is wrong…i have made that quiet clear. This is just something i was struggling to understand and i am just sharing my experience to get feedbacks.
    I don’t know what you mean by “don’t take it personally” i mean ofcourse am gonna take it personally…there are ways you talk about your Exs and there are ways you don’t…there is a fine line….just like Tsedey said.
    Also, i speak for 99.99% of women when i say that it hurts when your significant other compares you (the way you look) with other women. It doesn’t matter how confident or beautiful or smart you are, when you open your self to someone..their opinions matter and they get to you wether they are true or false. That’s called being human and even if you don’t understand this “frustration”, you should try to empathize since i am sure there is something about your self that you are not 100% confident about.
    If you are going to make your girlfriend insecure about the way she looks…then my friend you will not have a girlfriend (not one that likes herself anyway)

tpeace, March 12th, 2009 at 1:02 am:

  • hmm toothpick - is the allure of what was forbidden a reward for that dude? don’t mean to sound shallow but that might make it seem like an egotrip …though, for someone to say just being with a white woman is like having freedom — makes it intriguing because of the restriction on sexuality during slavery times with planned breeding amongst slaves and the slave masters raping the slaves with the white women inaccessible: freedom of sexuality was one of the freedoms reclaimed by freed slaves… so interesting way to think about it — this kinda thinking couldn’t possibly be at the root of the african immigrant experience tho…

    Mr. Me     - interesting ideas there. i agree with u on the bit about mutual chemistry & being comfortable/confident with urself — yes it’s practically impossible to push for that chemistry & it may not be mutual so it’s extremely important for both guys and gals to detect the signs correctly — and that’s why i think the ‘he’s not that into u’ flick is such a worthwhile watch for both guys and gals! (check this for a sneak peak: http://tinyurl.com/a9qr9y) it paints a clear picture exactly how women/men misread the signs and fool ourselves into thinking someone’s into us when they’re really not and its a waste of time… also – I agree with the bit u said with being confident with yourself. Though, I think you’re making huuuge assumptions that Semhal’s dissatisfaction came from her lack of confidence. (if we are going into grand sweeping overarching generalizations about ethio women, since we’re being indulgent anyways lol, I would actually argue, our current urban Ethiopian culture isn’t particularly conducive to fostering self-confidence in individuals. period….JMHO)

    My question to you Mr. ME — shouldn’t the conversation and interaction for 2 ppl focus around the connection between them two??? why waste time on petty topics like ‘bragging’ about the class, finesse and attractiveness of ex-es when they could be enjoying time connecting with each other without the distractions of superficial facts about where…mr. and ms. bygones shop and the type of music they listen to?? what’s the last bit about that saying that goes …”…small minds talk about people”?
    mr. me — maybe its time you come out of denial and YOU ask yourself….do YOU have a small mind :P lol jk!

tsedey, March 12th, 2009 at 6:07 am:

  • tpeace, good pt. re:toothpick. i failed to mention that.

me, March 12th, 2009 at 10:26 pm:

  • lol okay ladies take it easy!!

    First of all … don’t take it personal … I repeat! You still taking it personal.

    Second of all … I am not mad. I am 100% Tenegna. lol If you meant I sounded angry … why not, when u literary butcher the poor dude all of you together … men’s solidarity yibalal. lol But trust me I was not mad n I have no reason to be one. You seem to be very emotional. Life is short, dear, take it easy. :P

    Third of all I did not say I am 100% percent confident. No one is actually, even those that appear overconfident deep down they feel a lot of insecurity.

    Now…let me try to add few more things:

    1) Talking about ex-es, lol I know this is so vexing for you ladies but we guys can’t help it thinking of the good ol days or the good bad ones. But here is the thing …

    Of course, the current gf deserves a lot of attention and care and lovely moments. But r/nship aint always as Ms. Tsepeace tried to put it … “shouldn’t the conversation and interaction for 2 ppl focus around the connection between them two …?” Sure the two should focus aroung the connection bn the two. However, whether you like it or not, whatever thing you do, can remind him of whatever thing the other used to do. And it is the same for the girl too; whatever stuff he does, def. reminds her of whatever stuff her other guy used to do. That is pretty natural. However, how they choose to share their past experience with each other, that is a different story …

    “how women/men misread the signs and fool ourselves into thinking someone’s into us when they’re really not and its a waste of time…” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiJ_2zQYUFg The same old cry lol Sorry ladies to bring that to you … :P

    Btw I don’t think talkin about your exes is a petty thing … lol it actually is stimulating for those who can take it. I for example don’t mind she telling me about her exes. I can learn many things from that. I can take the bad of his and make it good … or i can take the good and even make it better. But just the moment she mentions her ex if that hurts me, then I think I have a big problem inside…in another way of saying it … I am terribly insecured. Ladies … people remain long time friends after they break up … let alone allowing the memory of the past come and go in the present. So chillll … don’t take it personal … n don’t hate the damn exes!! Here is a saying, “yalefe fiqir lewendoch tizita lesetoch himem naw.” Cheers to whoever said that …. :P

    Finally, Ms. Tse asked, “do YOU have a small mind?” Sure I do … do YOU have a big mind? If that is yes, I see a chemistry there, what do you say? … lol jk

me, March 12th, 2009 at 10:42 pm:

  • PS: oh, btw, I don’t think I know you, Semhal. if that worries you …… lol I am just a random e-explorer.

    Until next time,

Nani, March 12th, 2009 at 10:51 pm:

  • LOL you guys are funny! :D

Nani, March 13th, 2009 at 6:06 pm:

  • Mr Me I agree with you on a lot of the points that you made, we can’t help talking about the past, and it’s natural, when you make friends you talk about experiences and childhood, none of which were made instantly otherwise you wouldn’t have things to talk about, but the point you’re missing is WHAT exactly this particular guy is talking about it’s not “oh me and my ex used to go this restaurant” it’s “oh my ex-girlfriend looked soo cute when she … (i’ll leave that to interpretation)” so no I don’t believe that’s natural or fair and I can understand Semhal’s frustration NOT because I’m a girl too, but I would feel the same way in the same situation

tpeace, March 13th, 2009 at 7:23 pm:

  • LOL @ the Whitney linkage. c’mon tell the truth! if you realllyyy had the outlet to express it (like a little emotional bonding time venting about that girl & how u’re consumed by how incredible she is but seems to be playing a tough game…) you’d be the one bawling ‘DOES she reallyyyy love me?” :P (i know, i know…am kinda blowing ur whole ‘men solidarity’ facade here)… the movie goes for both genders anyways — ‘she’s not that into u’ works just about the same way the other quote does…

    on talking about exes : i really don’t get why anyone would dwell on talking about petty facts about exes such as the label of her sunglasses, (watch out here…u’re putting words in my mouth cos I wasn’t talking about not mentioning ex-es at all) — my question is: so what he drove an Infinity G sedan or she shopped at Newmann Marcus or whatever? what point is there in that? I don’t get it… Maybe aside from that small head of urs lol, i think you shoud get your eyes checked for some shrinkage :P cos semhal pointed out he was comparing her with exes by referencing the type of superficial details i just mentioned… i personally don’t think there is any justification for dude making a commentary about the way she is to CONSUME products!! if the issue is he’s not really into a girl why go around talking about how she’s soo different from someone else? he can go look for that beastie boys girl if that’s what he’s looking for rather than reminiscing why that girl was sooo fabulous cos she did that and what a pity you dont!… it’s a whole different thing if the discussions were about how either of them dealt with things with their exes and how their personalities meshed etc (and even if that’s being discussed its a complete turn off when a guy talks about that on the first few dates!! – that happened to me once and i was like HUU?? what is happening here? obviously our chemistry was off but yea…that’s that maybe i need to stop pursuing the smallmind-bigmind chemistry eh? :P )…

mister.mister, April 24th, 2009 at 1:46 pm:

  • “Ethiopian guy: I was thrilled to have found someone who is well-read that can share my culture and weird African superstitions. Everything was going great until he started pulling away because my taste in music does not include fall out boys (come on now: ) or I don’t shop at Karen Millen.”

    fall out boys and karen millen and he used to date white girls ?

    you were dating a white-ethio-guy… just switch up and get a afrocentric-ethio-guy. you know dreads…listen to dead prez…doesn’t use real soap. uses shea butter. he don’t eat kitfo. cause he don’t eat red meat. and then you two could be in afro centric bliss and discuss “development” and make love to Common’s Electric Circus album.

    then you can get the following models
    thug-ethio-guy
    afrocentric-ethio-guy
    corporate-ethio-guy
    fob-ethio-guy
    onlydateasiangirls-ethio-guy

    i was with a friend… talking about “habesha girls” and he does the obligatory “habesha girls are not freaky…and they take too long to give it up.”

    NEGRO PLEASE

    i love dating women from the horn…there is a familiarity and understanding that I don’t have with others. but one thing i’ve realized about yall. is you’re all completely different and beautiful in your own way. your views on sex, love, life, music, politics,etc. VARY greatly. you’re not a homogenous group and thank god.

    bottom line…we’re all different. not all black men date white women nor want to. not all ethio guys are so limited that they judge a girl based on where she shops and what she listens to.

Nani, April 27th, 2009 at 5:23 am:

  • that was by far the most reflective comment i’ve read on this issue, thanx mister.mister (u mind if i just use one mister) it’s encouraging at least there are some guys out there that do understand …

tpeace, April 28th, 2009 at 8:22 am:

  • @mister.mister
    lol @ the caricatures of abesha guy types :)

    total agreement with ur bottom line!

nolawi, July 10th, 2009 at 8:23 pm:

  • oh my god… black men are completely different that ethiopian men in personality..

    gin i applaud the writer for a fantastic i disagree with and for being so open about her experience…

Nani, July 11th, 2009 at 9:10 am:

  • Hey Nolawi,
    Nice having u here, … I didn’t understand what u meant by “gin i applaud the writer for a fantastic i disagree with and for being so open about her experience…”
    u applaud the writer for a fantastic ? but what do you disagree with, her openness? i donno me don’t get …

superman, October 26th, 2009 at 9:12 pm:

  • I am a guy and Eritrean.
    I have never dated habesha girls. I don’t have any thing against them but I just never met any habesha girls. I hang around dupont, shaw and around U street and I see them all the time but they are repulsive.
    A few months ago, I was at some lounge over by K street. There were these group of habesha girls (good looking). I approached one of them that I found attractive and started talking to her. In a few seconds she asked me to buy her a drink and I agreed to do it. Then, all the sudden she asked me to buy a drink for all her friends. I was shocked and turned off and moved on. It seems the whole blog is stereotyping habesha men. Not all habesha men are the same. We all are different. I am straight man but I have different taste when it comes to music, clothing, books and other stuff. I wear fitted skinny $200 jeans, I do menicure, I get a $50 hair cut and I date all kind of woman. I prefer educated, skinny chick with big tits and pretty face. Yeah, it is true I want what I can’t have. But, I am my own person and you ex habasha dude doesn’t represent me.

Semhal, November 5th, 2009 at 12:58 am:

  • superman…it’s fine that u have different taste in music…that little thing in bracket was for humor …
    your taste for expensive fashion is your choice…. I do not choose to spend my money that way. I did not judge him for what he wore…i already knew his taste and went out with him anyway but the difference is …I don’t impose my lifestyle on others especially if it’s superficial and expensive …. and no this is not judgement…it’s just the truth…. expensive lifestyle is superficial .
    I never said that my ex represents you or any habesha man….i know and acknowledge that there are many good habesha man out there.
    As for you… i hope you don’t talk and live like you write…
    “I do menicure, I get a $50 hair cut…I want what I can’t have…skinny chick with big tits…never dated habesha girls; I see them all the time but they are repulsive” ….say what???

Superman, November 7th, 2009 at 8:46 pm:

  • You know what? I just remembered that I went out for a few dates with this habesha girl. I never asked her how old she was but I think she was in her early 30s. I was 25 at the time (brother got a love for cougars). Somehow, she never understood the whole concept of being a gentleman. I always opened the car door for her. The funny part is once she gets in the car, she would lean over and open the car door for me. I thought it was kind of weird for her to do that.
    About the $50 hair cut..You have no idea how hard is to find someone who can cut my hair with scissors and do it very well. I looked very hard for some one who can do it for $20 but I could not find any one. It takes a talent to cut my hair the way I want it and talent cost money.
    Expensive lifestyle is superficial? Yes, indeed..it is superficial. We all are superficial. Women like men who are tall, fit and with lots of money. Most women prefer a jerk who looks like Brad pit than a nice guy who is average looking. I like a woman who looks like Rosario Dawson. Am I superficial? Yes, I am superficial..so is you and every other human out there.

Semhal, November 11th, 2009 at 10:30 pm:

  • “Most women prefer a jerk who looks like Brad pit than a nice guy who is average looking”… hmmm only if you live in planet X. And yes you are superficial but no not “every other human out there” is superficial… it seems to me that you need to change your crowd.
    Thanks for your comments anyway.

Your comment:

senduQ © All Rights Reserved
Site Admin | Log out | Entries RSS | Comments RSS