Flattery: Fast-tracking Success?
1 February, 2010 | 13 comments | Category: Relationships, Senduq- Semhal, Uncategorized, iPerceive, nostalgia.personal, thinking...
photocredit: tsepeaces
by senduQ blogger Semhal
Schmoozers or Ass-kissers …most of us have been drawn to such crowds at some point in our lives. I don’t know how they do it…become magnets of long lines of insecure ambitious people like myself (every now and then) who get convinced that success is only for those who are expert artists of sucking up. I have to admit, I can be too nice to people at times especially when I’m dealing with people seated higher in the job hierarchy. But I have recently become more self-aware of this habit especially after I received some veiled criticisms about this from my dad who noticed my tendency to “worship” my boss. This newfound awareness convicted me every time I gave one of my fake smiles or exaggerated compliments.
So as a new year resolution, I decided to work my way out of this habit even if it means risking the climb up the ladder in the job market. It was a conscious decision that I made. One of the big steps in accomplishing my goal was to choose my acquaintances carefully because you know what they say “evil company corrupts good habits.” I don’t want to boast but I was doing pretty well until…
A few weeks ago, I made a trip to Atlanta for a conference. There were many esteemed people in my field of work, people I would love to work for after graduation. I was fortunate enough to meet some great people who are doing incredible work all around the world. Unfortunately, I also crossed paths with the overt schmoozers: people who would say and do anything to be part of the “IT” crowd. They talk like they have “your back” but they are neither your friends nor confidants. They are polite and politically correct and have the appearance of doing everything effortlessly: but when they get a chance, they will sell you out at any price. I felt obliged to join their group since the person I came with had quickly befriended them (ye habesha yilugntaye:) ~ politeness). So I listened to their gossip about who has more funding or who has more publications or who gave who a face …all day
After 12 hrs of flight and 8 hours of gossip, I was ready to retire for the night so I respectfully declined their invitation to accompany them to the bar. That’s when one of the girls said “You know it is who you know not what you know. If you are not going to come and hang out, you might as well not have come.”
I would normally scratch that, roll my eyes and go on my merry way but I could not help but wonder if there was some truth in this. In today’s society has the value of hard work been compromised? Are people losing faith in the value of hard work? When I think about people who have made significant differences in the world, they have always walked alone, they were even outcasts. Think about Jesus and how he was out-casted by his people, yet isn’t it extraordinary that the life of Jesus thousands of years after his birth should move a sane soul this way? Why do we then roll our eyes to the heavens when we come across people who walk in paths different than ours? I mean let’s get real people…everything is earned…you cannot learn French in 40 hours or calculus in one afternoon no matter how much you click with the teacher. It doesn’t matter if you have the most intelligent conversation with the CEO, at the end of the day if you do not know what you need to know, you may get the job but you can’t keep it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against networking: you cannot make a difference in anyone’s life if you lock your self in your room all day. But the foundation of success is your ability and confidence to do the work well: At the end of the day it IS what you know not who you know.
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