senduQ

mind entropy of the ethiofrican

When I’m Back

16 April, 2010 | 23 comments | Category: Africa, I.dentity, i.mmigration, nation & ethnicity, nostalgia.personal, Senduq - E!

by E!

It is now 12:07 AM. I just had a brief conversation with tsepeaces and another Berkye SenduQawit. I managed to get out of the conversation in time for me to wash the dishes my friend and I used. Poor fellow had to eat a vegan dinner because I am fasting. I know I am not supposed to brag about lent, especially not announce it on a BLOG that is getting hot by the minute. UMMM but opportunities like this arise very rarely in my side of town.  May be my deacon friend will actually make note of the fact that I am fasting and inform Abba (of course with out my consent) and may be, Abba will reduce my segdet from 75 to 45 for the coming Fasika and the next few Fasikas I will actually spend in this town.

I have a vague suspicion that I am a hot commodity in the virtual world, because everyone wants to hear my stories from home. After all, what is better than a friend who just arrived from Addis Ababa? Of course it’s a bonus, if the friend came with teff injera and she updates you about so and so’s wedding while you take a huge gorsha of teff ingera with WZO X’s ebed yale key wet? Errre I should not have such HODE-related ideas in the first week of tsome (My deacon friend decrees such thoughts at this time of the year).

It has also become Ye Addebabye Mistere that I have very weak resistance le addis ababa goremsoch…and hence (I assume that she assumed) my three weeks stay would be full of drama. Well, Not Really. Mr. S has done un-repairable damage to my dating appetite. And besides, STD rates are on the rise eytebale yeweral. Of course, the person who gave me this info is a major ye’addis ababa dureye and he even challenged me to disprove this hypothesis. He said,  “as an aspiring scientist you should do a practical hypothesis testing”. Imagine my surprise when I heard this from Elem yale dureye negAde ….what y’know about hypothesis testing and scientific research? The hypothesis still remains untested…anyways we should move on, after all this is a well-respected blog. There are still some who constantly mistake ME for chewa & anget defi so let me not ruin their presumption.

I wanted to go home desperately because I wanted to confirm that home still exists.  As much as I love and appreciate my life here, I feel as if something is missing (May be something or someone is actually missing but that by itself calls for another entry). I have this nagging feeling of emptiness. I constantly reminded my self that my life here is temporary, I should not get too comfortable here because this is not home. Ethiopia is home. Or is it not? I had three weeks to find out.

When I arrived at the Bole International airport my mom was the first person I saw, she was holding a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.  She did not see me until I was steps away from her. The expression on her face when she saw me was priceless. I realized how much I have missed my mom when I saw her with flowers in her hands, lost in deep thought. My mother looked so much darker than I remembered, it has been two years since I last saw her, but within those two years, my mother has aged rapidly. She still looks very young for her age, but she has changed considerably.

The three weeks went by so fast and we were once again at the Bole international airport, this time at the departure section. I managed to send my luggage and I went to the airport café where my parents and brother were waiting. We sat in the café for a while until my brother finally rose from his chair and announced that it was time. It was past mid night and both my parents looked very exhausted. I knew another Goodbye was imminent.  I gave each one of them a hug, and watched my father and brother escort my mom who was sobbing quietly.

I arrived at the airport in my city on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I quickly collected my luggage, and left the arrival section. There was no one waiting for me at the airport. There were no flowers, kisses or hugs, not even a handshake. My heart sunk a bit lower with this realization, but I was nonetheless happy to be “home”. My apartment looked much bigger, sunnier and cleaner than I remembered. I realized how much I have missed its coziness, quietness and spaciousness. I went out and bought a calling card to tell my parents that I have arrived safely. I called a few friends to let them know that I am in town. I unpacked, took a hot long bath and then went out on my balcony and drew in a lung full of crisp winter air….euffoy and oddly enough it felt good to be back.

I was not able to permanently address this “empty” feeling, that I always had since I set a foot in North America. But I was able to understand why I constantly have that feeling. This “empty” feeling is due to lack of genuine love, attention and laughter I took for granted in Ethiopia. Over the seven years I have been here, besides a few good friends I have been all-alone. It is a dangerous realization but with all honesty, very few people would notice if I went missing or dead. So, this “constant feeling of emptiness” is also known to many as “loneliness”.

I have been back from my trip for over a month. I have now made peace with “loneliness” and we have made unwritten convention that it will occupy a small corner in my life. It will NOT take over completely; make me move to another city or date un-dateable guys. I will NOT deny its existence. “Loneliness” and me shook hands and sealed the deal, with out shemagelas, eyewitnesses or lawyers. I looked at a framed picture of my parents for approval. They smiled, so I guessed they also approve.

My trip has given me an opportunity to re-connect with family and friends. I especially had a fabulous time with my cousin with whom I shared great childhood memories. He was drifting away from my life and it felt righteous to place him back in my life (and this time permanently). It was also nice to see how some of my friends have become so successful and dedicated to their careers. Since most people do not work for more than a few hours a day, it was refreshing to see such commitment and persistence. I had an opportunity to go to ANde Yemengist mesribete to get some paper work done and we had to go multiple times during office hours to get very simple and basic service. There are lots of incompetent and lazy people and they demand loads of patience.

I closed my eyes and thought about my mother deep in thought, holding the beautiful bouquet. Another thought came, my parents, brother and I at the airport café. Sandwiched between the two, I had unbelievably beautiful time. It was a fabulous vacation and it made me realize that I am lonely but also happy here. I can handle loneliness. Surely, I have developed a thick skin over the course of seven years – I have lived alone after all. I also love the life I have created for myself here; I am in a setting that challenges me intellectually and emotionally. I have chosen this life for me and I must live it unapologetically. But yes, Ethiopia also has a room for me and I can go back to it whenever I am ready. For now though, “loneliness” and I will coexist.

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Wayna & Dinaw: Slums of Paradise

8 December, 2008 | 9 comments | Category: book snip, for.the.love.of.words!, I.dentity, i.mmigration, love.of.words!, musiqa, nostalgia.personal, peace & conflict, poetry, prose.tales

The African immigrant experience within the U.S.
…complex, diverse and ridiculously chaotic!
Which experience isn’t, eh?
A friend recently told me we are ‘transplants’…
Surely there is no way that can be less-than-a-chaotic experience!
A chaotic experience that’s gotta be told…

Why Stories?

Stories are powerful and profound…
They are ways to …share the most beautiful parts of ‘me’ and ‘us’:
stories of sincere, vulnerable, honest, contradictory and complex humanity…(great video on that)…a way to confirm my & our presences in this world, in our own voices…I love stories, always have for some reason.

My mum told me, when I was a little girl and wouldn’t eat food, she used to tell me stories so my mouth would unconsciously gape open and she’d slip the food in! We should tell each other our stories to share each other, and to build/reaffirm our commonality – or humanity.

Stories make & relay meaning, share, connect, inspire, uplift, persuade, shape thought, teach, transfer history, bring together, affirm culture, enable self-reflection…they confirm ‘you are not alone in your experience’ and describe common narratives of communities. From the political-historical angle…written stories hold weight as Virginia Woolf once said; “Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.”…and as long as the victors tell the prevalent stories, they would have the upper hand. Stories are paths to peacemaking, just as they are to the absence of peace. ‘Stories fill our lives in the way that water fills the lives of fish.’ Stories are as all-pervasive as culture.

Wayna’s Slums of Paradise

Below are sublime original sounds by Grammy nominee Wayna Wondwossen. ‘Slums of Paradise’ holds her description of experiences as an Ethiopian-born immigrant in the US with parents filled with expectations about her future. She is an incredible neo soul musician wonderfully deserving of her Grammy nomination. Listening to her live rendition of Bob Marley’s ‘Redemption Song’ last March, I literally had tears in my eyes and goosebumps! Her voice has a clarity and beauty that is just uplifting. No wonder the incredible Stevie Wonder himself said “She is Incredible!”
Slums of Paradise – Wayna

 

Desparate Days – Wayna ft. Tewoderos Taddesse

 

Dinaw’s “The Beautiful Things that Heaven Bears“

Also been reading a very engaging novel by Dinaw Mengestu, an Ethiopian Immigrant, winner of the 2007 Guardian First Book Award. The story is about a man, Sepha Stephanos, who flees a communist junta as a teenager to become a transplant immigrant in the US, making attempts to grasp the ‘beauty that heaven bears’- the American dream. The book captures the loneliness, and internal angst involved in the immigrant experience- it is so bare and honest… The best parts of the book, to me, circulate around the emotional narrative behind the illusion of opportunity and Sepha’s attempts to reconcile his ever-present nostalgia. His fleeting romance with a family of a single white mother and biracial daughter is a touching tale of a man fearful of love in his self-doubt. Here is an interview with Dinaw by Tadias Magazine. My favorite part of the interview:

“I don’t think most writers ever decide to write. For me, it was something that I did because I had to. It’s been my way of managing and making sense of the world I live in.”

It’s exciting that voices like his are starting to get heard.

(more…)

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Kenna.i.love: Grammy Nominee EthioAmericans!

4 December, 2008 | 1 comment | Category: madness!, musiqa, thinking...

This is way beyond surreal! I was writing up this post last nite before going to sleep-- and this morning I woke up to an alert on facebook: Two Ethiopian American Musicians have been nominated for Grammys!! Way to PUSH the envelope! CONGRATULATIONS- Way proud of you guys!

Best Urban/Alternative Performance

Say Goodbye To Love -- Kenna

Wanna Be -- Maiysha

Be OK -- Chrisette Michele Featuring will.i.am

Many Moons -- Janelle Monae

Lovin You (Music) -- Wayna Featuring Kokayi

____________________________________________________________

Kenna.i.love?

such love!

its inexplicable! wheew!

its beyond the realm of words i tell ya….

it’s a feeling located in a place only music can reach.

Kenna Zemedkun, is an Ethiopian-born American musician- a rocker…

i didn’t like his music just a year ago…i thought it sounded like empty ruckus muckus suckus. tehehe i know, so harsh right?

but now--NOW i hear him and i quickly connect…he is like a genre of his own which u acquire a taste for. his voice is so singular, so clear…so confident. his style is so unapologetic…which i just love. His artistry is like he has a little caption under his music: this is me *shrug*. that’s kinda deep… that’s a lot deep…!

yes, part of his stuff sounded/s kinda the same…but thinking more about it, to me, he’s kinda like gnarls barkely in that -- his distinction and sometimes sublime lyrics have an enthralling clarity. hmm…his stuff is always so recognizable, and catchy…great ‘on the move’ music.

what i am in love with the most tho is that …from his work i sense he’s a creator…a musician  who flows passion into his work, pours it all right out, splatters it onto the guitar strings, sound mixer and keyboards from his heart. exhaling ‘there!‘ An artist friend of mine once said to me “creativity comes from the heart” and i was like …hu? the heart spits out innovative cartoon thought-clouds? sawweet  …it’s all subjective anyway, i guess…

been looking @ some stuff on creativity. The “creative personality” article on Psychology Today was an especially intriguing commentary on creative people’s personalities… had some fascinating observations including -- ‘creative people are more like ‘multitudes’ rather than ‘individuals.’ ‘one word what makes their personalities different from others, it’s complexity.’ Here are some more abstractions from the article…

  • great deal of physical energy, but they’re also often quiet and at rest
  • smart yet naive
  • combine playfulness and discipline, or responsibility and irresponsibility
  • alternate between imagination and fantasy, and a rooted sense of reality
  • tend to be both extroverted and introverted
  • humble and proud at the same time
  • escape rigid gender role stereotyping
  • both rebellious and conservative
  • very passionate about their work, yet they can be extremely objective about it as well
  • openness and sensitivity often exposes them to suffering and pain, yet also to a great deal of enjoyment

Well i don’t know how this all sounds to anyone else but, to me, these descriptions paint portraits of people who are full of contradictions and frankly speaking- plain ol CONfuSION…I think it’s like they’re comfortable with the confusion and ambiguity…they choose to be at that itchy middle point, the interface, on the edge. They are comfortable with discomfort because they know the Brink is where they can push themselves off the edge into something new. after all…one wise dude once said ‘necessity is the mother of innovation’. out of a survival instinct standing at a void-at emptiness and a lack of fulfillment of what is humanly necessary or comfortable, these creative minds make do and use what is available to create…

ok enough philosophizing for one sitting. handing it over to a queen of creativity herself…

lo and behold the world-renown ‘Joy Luck Club’ author Amy Tran asking where Creativity Hides. Quite the edgy, quirky, rambilicous talk seeped with sarcastic humor. video again courtesy of Nani

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On t’Brink Again: Hungry Horn

25 September, 2008 | 1 comment | Category: peace & conflict

the looping setting on the horn of africa. BAM!
2008 ~9.6 million hungry people (hi food prices), 3.25 million affected by drought.
2001 ~over 12 million people in Ethio, Eritrea needing urgent aid within drought.
1984 ~ 5-7 million affected with very high death rate: drought/delayed response/war.
read more.

it’s worse than the last time…they say…

i did something last time.

i wonder if i will again.

having experienced being at one of the sites they always show on news clips of people collecting food, i am intrigued by how news stories depict the scene…
here’s a pre-commentary, pre-news-edit video, part of the world food programme press release on the drought…

the bareness of the video was chilling to watch. but specifically, watching it in detached mode, i could think of a million ways someone could cut and paste this to make it ‘news worthy’. now, take that little snip with naked emaciated kids with bloated bellies, children collecting grains from the dust.
this piece of material could make a bang…yes, it is indeed as bad as 1984. yes, indeed this is the condition of the horn. sad reality that it is…

at the risk of viewers dismissing the news piece scoffing ‘ahhh…yea…didn’t they have that show on last nite? that infomercial about giving money to feed starving babies?’ the ‘pity-worthy-ness’ to a lesser degree, and the creative spin to a greater degree. these could be the uumph that can compete with other news pieces for the front page, the headline, the breaking news…and prove the point this is indeed comparable to 1984. the always-ness of africa. take a look!

i wonder.
what could be going through the camera person’s mind while they’re recording it? or the producers’ in thinking about what appeals to his audience? what kinda agenda/bias do they bring by editing?
relaying the urgency of the situation, the need for response…a successful news story that reaches the front page…booya! tv superstandome?? good news, is no news…right?

but really… what of the things that fall through the cracks. that wouldn’t bolster stereotypes…
a cultural value system and context lost in translation? like…respect and reverence of food in that it shouldn’t be wasted. Proverb: “migib kibur new”/”food is to be revered.” This presumes all food is not to be wasted unless it has been contaminated irreversibly…
Also, there may be different conceptions of contamination and germs…and an integrated perception of food-and nature…along with different ideas on ‘wastefulness’ ‘food’ ‘materialism’….’cleanliness’…
an understanding of these things make the scene with kids scrambling for grains on the sandy ground less dramatic.

Edit. Edit. Edit.

the construction of recent history
…versus a recording of the past…

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Dance Free!

25 June, 2008 | 10 comments | Category: book snip, I.dentity, musiqa

Minyeshu

Dancing is pure freedom! It is…completely releasing all inhibitions in an act that seizes the moment. In a

moment …you set free all nagging thoughts and nuances to sway, step, slide, twist …to pulsate! A pulse navigating out of the speakers to fuse in sync with your beat, your inner rhythm.

I love to dance… Could probably literally dance the night away, most days!

…So I thought I’ll drop 3 things on dancing into the senduQ:

~Minyeshu

Minyeshu is an Ethiopian traditional music vocalist residing in the Netherlands. I stumbled upon her when I found a flickr picture of hers looking like the lady on the senduQ header. :)

She just released an album ‘Dire Dawa’ this past April and has a previous album ‘Meba’ released 2002.

I love the ^ fashion, and stage energy… She exudes joy when on stage, in dancing; a free-spiritedness that doesn’t need an entourage. Simply put: Tishekeshikewalech on stage. I like how her fashion seems deliberate. The yellow dress does not come across as stereotypical, but does a great fusion of many styles from different cultures while keeping the flare of a traditional touch.

More than the music, which to me isn’t incredibly, incredibly original. Though her music uses notable full-on acoustics and makes a great and enjoyable attempt at fusion (of sounds from within and beyond Ethiopia) just like her attire…I like that she expresses a different take on the diversity that is Ethiopia …and that she pays homage to the best treasure jewel in the harur valley – Dire. (more…)

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